I don't remember much about that day.
I remember what she said and I remember crying my eyes out in the hallway by myself. No one to comfort me. No healing words. No should for support.
Just a little boy alone in the hallway of a fire station in Pennsylvania.
It was February of 1982 and I was 2 months shy of turning 9 years old. I remember 3 things from that day. I remember that it was cold. I remember crying and I remember what she said.
The hurtful words from a mother that were over heard by her little boy. Words that hurt for a lifetime taught me a lesson that I will not repeat. Little boys can hear and feel...and hurt.
It was the day of my mothers second wedding. She was marrying a man only 13 years my elder. He was a man that I didn't like. He was a man that didn't know how to be a parent for an 8 year old. It was hard for all of us.
I was so alone at the wedding. All that I remember was that I wasn't involved. I was there watching and not part of the ceremony at all. My mother was my world because my father was so far away and I hardly ever got to see him. Now this man moved in and took away my mother. My little world changed in an instant. Soon they would have kids and it would get worse and I would be a lost boy...
It started that night.
It started when my mother uttered those hateful words.
I just remembered my mother saying, "I'm so glad to be ride of that name".
It was a slap in the face to me and to my name. Her last name was Copley and now it was Lucas. She was so happy to change her name to something different from mine. I loved my name. Those words hurt me so deeply that I found a place to be alone on the happiest day of my mothers life and I cried my little eyes out.
Now I've divorced the mother of my son. He's a little boy and I am getting married. I remember that cold, cold day almost 30 years ago. I remember EXACTLY how I felt.
The first thing that I did when I decided to get married again was to ask my son.
"Will you be may best man?"
Just like Teresa did a couple of days earlier...he said yes. My little boy will not be alone and crying when I get married. He will be right next to me...