Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Dating Myth

Please define "dating".

Go ahead try.

"Well, two people are attracted and share common interests go out and...." blah, blah, blah.

It's a trick question. There is no such thing as dating. There are simply relationships. It's semantics really. The term dating could mean so many different things. How can you even define dating?

Do you have sex? Do you spend the night? Do you go out with each others kids? Is there a "walk away" clause? Is there "I love you"? Do you live together? Share bank accounts? Have kids?

I think that dating is a myth at best. It is simply destructive and selfish at worst. OK, those a big statements. Let's see it I can explain what I am talking about.

Two people go out for whatever reason. They share times and they "date". There may or may not be a discussion of the future. Why go out anymore? Are you progressing? Are you getting attached? Are you going to break a heart if you leave? Can you see other people? Can the other see other people?

Is there a sense of fairness? What I mean is that are you and your partner on the same page?

"I really like you...."

"I really like you too..."

What's next?

I guess what I am really trying to hash out in my mind is the why of it all. Why "date" and not move forward into a relationship that you value and want to have in a year or two or 10. What is the end game? How long is casual? Can we REALLY share times and perhaps a bed but yet one day say...."I'm done". Goodbye.

How can that EVER be mutual?

If it isn't then dating can be cruel.

It's a lot to think about. I have this talk quite a bit with my ex wife. She and are both is the weird "dating" netherworld where there isn't a "future" but there is a today and a tomorrow. It's not fair and at the end of the day there is always an injured party.

It's a tough confusing world and I admit that I am at a cross roads. I really know what I want to do today but I'm not sure how that makes tomorrow look.

The only thing that I am sure of is that I have a light preserver and I don't see land.

I am happy about that today. Will I be tomorrow? I hope so...I hope so. I'm starting to think that I will be happy the next day as well....

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