Friday, October 15, 2010

Negativity is dense

Did you ever get a positive feedback from people? Feels good, right? How about negative feedback? Yeah, not so good. What happens when you get both. Which is more dense?

No question there.

Imagine having someone say "I love you" to you 10 times a day for 100 days. Now that is 1000 "I love you's". Now after day 100 they say "I hate you" 1 time. Which do you remember?

Negative thoughts, feeling, emotions and words are denser than their positive counterparts.

When you start a new relationship with someone there are always going to be the cheerleaders. These are people that simply support you. You are going to get lot's of pats on the back, good luck's, she's right for you...

What happens though when you get a neigh-sayer? The person that puts a "what if" in your mind? Someone that comes along and tells you that you need to be careful? He's not ready? She's not ready? He may hurt you? What about the kids? What about his... What about her...

What if YOU have negative thoughts? What if you find 100 things about your new partner that you love but then you find a reason to doubt? What is stronger?

This is why it is so challenging to start a new relationship when you are divorced. You have people that want to see you succeed yes. You also have ex's. What do they want for you? You have people that are jealous. You have people that want to run your life. You have people that have well intentioned advice without all the facts.

It's a complicated world this whole dating thing.

Add Facebook and blogs to the mix and.... oh boy.

I say keep these thoughts in mind if your friend is entering into a new relationship.

Encouragement is always important.

Your advice can be valuable. You can help! Just be careful. Sometimes the best of intentions can backfire.