Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Speed Dating

When I separated I threw myself headlong into a “relationship”. Why in the world did I do that? To make things even worse it really wasn’t even a healthy one in any way shape or form. I was like 3 days post separation (still living in the house with my ex) and she was in a very similar situation. Looking back I can say that was stupid.
You live and learn.
The good thing about that is that I was very honest with her and her with me so we remain close friends today.
I’ve never liked being single so I didn’t want to be.
Of course I jumped into a new experience and soon as the “rebound” one was clearly over.
Then another; then another. What am I doing?
In the course of a couple of months I had dated 5 people that I had fun with and enjoyed dating but just didn’t fit the bill for a long term relationship. Then lightning struck and my heart became completely unavailable.
Now my eyes are open and I can see clearly; I still don’t see what I want out of life but at least I am viewing with a clear set of lenses.
Speed dating is over. I don’t want to be single forever but I am and I am positive about what this experience in going to do for me.
I have already learned some lessons. I think my overall theme of honesty has been key.
In my marriage I think that a huge factor to its ultimate demise was my honesty about my feelings. I could never express my true feelings to my wife. Over the years this eroded a once satisfying and fruitful marriage. I know this and have brought this lesson with me to the dating world.
I have been fantastically honest with the women that I have dated; sometimes to a fault. Regardless, I think honestly in the end will win over everything.
How can I prove that I have done this? All the women that I have “dated” in any way shape or form are all still my friends on Facebook. Also I still talk and text regularly with several. I am on good terms with all.
Would I have done things differently if I had the chance? I don’t know; maybe. Do I have regrets? None, whatsoever. Do I know what the heck I am going to do from here? Haven’t a clue.
Today I am patiently single and focusing on my son and figuring out what I want and need out of life. I run every day and I talk with my friends as much as I can. I send 50-100 text messages a day because I am a man of the modern world.
I am content today. Maybe I will learn to be more content tomorrow. Let’s see what the new day brings….


  1. Being content is a very good thing. I've been single a long time. Almost remarried twice after my divorce, but these days I focus on the kids, and have a no-drama relationship with a woman (not a girlfriend, more like friends with benefits). Content!

  2. Thanks Dadshouse. I am really pondering now what to do. I'm thinking that single for a while is a good thing but I don't want to be alone forever. Going to just relax and see what happens!!