Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Boy meets girl...or not

Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl; girl fall for boy. They live happily ever after. If only it were that simple.

What brings and keeps people together?

I don’t know either but it is an interesting discussion.

There are a lot of things that can bring people together. Common interests, common goals, physical attraction, job, faith, connections…. I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter. Being together isn’t an important as staying together. That’s the real question. How do you build a relationship?

Ironically I was talking with my ex wife the other night about this. What brings people together doesn’t necessarily keep them together. I guess the question really needs to be: what really keeps people together?

I have an opinion. Looking at my track record I’m sure it’s not a highly sot after opinion but its’ my blog and so it is my right! Ha!

I think it is love that keeps people together.  (What a cliché! I know, right?) You can start off with common interests or a connection or alcohol… it doesn’t matter what the catalyst. When it’s all said and done, if you are not truly in love then you are done. You can fake it for weeks, months or years but in the end you are doomed if you don’t develop a deep seeded love.

What if you just have love and little else?

It has never been my object with this blog to give advice. I am the last person to give advice (I have another blog for that: I do, however, feel that I can provide a perspective; a firsthand account, if you will.

I believe that the starting point doesn’t matter. You start where you start. You have interests or attraction or whatever. Where you begin isn’t important. Next you need goals.  You both need the same goals. When you goals are different from your partner then you grow apart slowly or quickly; both these options are not good. At some point love develops. If love NEVER develops then you are sunk; plain and simple.

I don’t know. Relationships are hard. It is even harder when you have a kid and an ex and….

You get the point.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about to proceed with my life. Do I get serious because that is what I want? Do I do the casual thing because that is what I need? Do I know how to do THAT? I don’t like either option.

For now I’m just spending a lot of time thinking about me; thinking about what I want and need. I’m thinking about what completeness really is. Thinking about what I want from me and what I want from a mate. I’m just doing a lot of thinking.

How do you do this whole thing? I wish I knew what I really needed; I already know what I want…

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