Epic Fail

I enter into relationships in one of two ways. Whichever way is on my heart I do my best to convey that to the person that I am with. Now that I’m the single world after 10 years of marriage and a failed attempt at love I am feel the dichotomy of my relationships is appropriate.

I’m in it for fun of I’m in it to win it. In other words it’s going to short term or long term.; temporary or permanent. If I’m honest up front then it usually works out for the good.

I don’t CHOOSE which way I am going to proceed. This is a choice my heart makes for me.

This past summer I was in a relationship for a about 6 weeks with a lady that I got along great with. We had a really good time! It was light. It was good! I was very clear though that I just didn’t want it to be long term. Whenever one of us what done then it was done and we move on. That’s how my heart felt and she felt the same. One day we just ended it and remain close friends today.

That one was easy. My relationship that just ended was not.

I went into this one full bore 100% committed in it to win it. I was VERY clear on my intentions the entire time. She was not on that page. I think now that I thought she was and truth be told I think she gave a lot of indications that she was on that path but in the end she was not. It just became too much for her and she bolted leaving my heart broken.

It was a true Epic Fail.

Now what? Well, I have learned…  (yeah, right. I haven’t learned a thing)

I won’t do that again. (yes, I will. Likely it will be soon)

Next time I won’t fall as hard. (as if…)

What's the cliche? You live, you learn? Well that's for sissy's! Ha!

As I recover and work through my “true hurt” I hope to do some casual, light dating. I want to enjoy another’s company without the pressure that I apply on myself. My eyes are open. Someday my heart will be ready to love again. Someday….