Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Trust you, trust me...


I sat bold upright in bed this morning. I had a word on my brain. That world was trust. I have spent the last hour lying wide awake trying to figure out the meaning of that world; today, this hour, this minute….now.

Clarity is advancing.

I trusted you. I trust you. I will trust you.

Trust is something that you give to someone. Trust is something that you feel. Trust is something that you bring to the equation.

I’m not talking about relationships; but I am.

I’m not talking about faith; but I am.

I’m not talking about sports; but I am.

I’m not talking about your family; but I am.

I’m not talking about your job; but I am.

What I mean is everything. For YOU to truly function you need to trust what you are doing and who you are doing it with. When YOU have the feeling of trust then you can fully execute whatever you need to execute.

At this moment, right now, I am torn. I want to write about why this is on my brain. I want very badly to express the exact reason that I have this thought on my mind. Sadly I will not. I can, however, relate to the word trust and what it means to YOU and to ME.

I will trust in YOU to do the right thing. I will trust that your intentions are good. I will trust my instincts and judgments. I will trust MY heart and my intentions. I will trust in who I am. If you can never truly trust then you can never truly be whole. If you never trust then you can never truly be happy. If you don’t trust you don’t win.

I remember when I was a coach of a women’s cross country team many, many years ago. One day I got them together for a mid-week pep talk. I asked them each if they trusted the others on the team. I made sure that trust was out of the equation. I made sure that each member of the team was able to TRUST each other member of the team to do what she needed to do in the race and to do her best. This away when you trust the others you can focus your whole energy on…..what?? Giving your all and doing YOUR best.

Incidentally that team, for the first time ever, qualified for Division II Nationals and finished an amazing 10th place.

Look at your relationship with your lover. Do you trust them? Do you trust them to be there when you need them to be? Do you trust them to be there in your darkest hour? Do you trust them to not judge you? Do you trust them?

I can say whole heartedly that my marriage ended after 10 years because of this issue. Trust over the years evaporated for both of us. We both lost faith and trust in the other one and thus a love was eroded.
I vow today to trust people more. I vow to put my efforts into being the one that is trusted. I vow to living life as someone that people trust.

This word and this thought is very powerful to me at 4:07am.

When I woke up an hour ago I climbed out of my warm bed. I put on a hat, jacket and shoes and ventured outside into the 30 degree night air. Why would I do this? Well, you see, I trusted that the lunar eclipse would be worth it... and it was.

As I typed away on my lap top I trusted the battery was good.

I didn’t trust it that much. I plugged in just before she ran out of juice. Trust is good but sometimes you just need to verify and move on. That is what I did.

As I make my way in this world as a single dad it is becoming so clear to me the simplicity of it all. The world around me may seem complex; indeed it is a complicated world. But the world inside me is as simple as could be: Trust and be trustworthy.

That’s it. It is as simple. The complicated part we create ourselves when we don’t trust… and can’t be trusted.


  1. Trust is tricky though. I think about this a lot and I think I have to trust me first. That is what I struggle with!

  2. Nothing works until you trust yourself. That is the key I think. I am learning more to trust myself. You can view this blog in a lot of ways. I can see it as all about trusting yourself! Trusting yourself to trust others. Trust equals risk though no matter what.