Thursday, December 9, 2010

Fix me

So I just finished writing a post and I deleted it by mistake. It must have meant to be. I think I'll start over.

The heaviness in my heart has started to lift. The pain isn't today what it was a few days ago. While I haven't gone a day without tears I am hopeful today is the day. I am optimistic that I can round the corner to healing. Optimistic but a bit cynical.

I know each day is a new day full of new opportunities. I know that I have many gifts and much happiness is in store for me. I know that if I focus on the good then more good will come.

It doesn't make it any easier.

I guess the hurt and the sadness are all part of the plan. I hope that someday I figure out what that plan is!

Today I feel like I can get through this. The hurt that permeates my every fiber when I have thoughts of her is clearly less. The amazing memories are there but fading. With no new memories to make the old ones aren't so clear.

The shock and sadness can't last long. The love that I felt can fade. The moments to remember will always be there. I will fix me. I know that I can do it. With time I can fix this and make it right. For now I am OK to hurt. I accept the hurt. I move forward, I move on....

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