Tuesday, December 14, 2010

She found me

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

I found the above quote on a friend "Notes" on Facebook. My only reply there was: OMG.

Here I can write what I really think.

I need to stop dwelling over what was, what might have been and what should have been regarding my former girl friend. I have to stop the pity party. I have not been ready. I have not understood yet. My head has been spinning.

Until right now. After this I am done and moving on. What is done is done. It's over. 

Read that quote above. That was ME. That is how I conduced myself in my relationship with her. She was lucky to have me! The things that it says? I said those things! I was the one that wanted to hold her up and say "That's her". I was so lucky. I REALLY felt that way.

In the end she didn't feel the same. I'm through. The pity party is over. Nobody was bringing presents anyway. I stand tall now. I did what I could do. I was PERFECT. I did what a person in love does. I acted like I should have. This is her loss. I was there for her but she didn't feel the same.

I accept this and I move on now.

I forgive her for walking away from something that I thought was so perfect. I forgive you! What wasn't right, wasn't right. I am done. Now I go on with the rest of my great life. From the last few months I carry much joy and great memories. For a moment I held you and now that moment is over but I will always remember you for what you were and what we were.

I did all I could. Now I move one. I'm still making my way....

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